In eastern cultures, non-virgin females are often considered inadequate for marriage. However, there is a double standard for virginity because men can be non-virgins, even if it is not ideal. It’s just the way that these societies work. As a westerner, I have often taken our sex education and access to various birth-control methods for granted.
In a country such as Canada, I could only assume that being a non-virgin before marriage wouldn’t matter too much unless you were marrying a very religious individual. More and more, however, I’m hearing males assess females for “wifey material.” The essential meaning behind this is whether or not a female exhibits the adequate qualities of a good potential wife. As bothersome as this can be to me, I can learn to accept it. It’s natural selection, females pick out the male most suited for giving birth to their offspring and men are doing the same (or something along these lines…).
The one thing that really bugs me is that virginity and sexual innocence are associated with a female that is “wifey material.” A girl that is sexually promiscuous or at all experienced is more likely to be considered as just a potential”girlfriend” or “friends with benefits.” I can’t help but feel a certain sense of anger at this.
First off, one’s virginity is in no way associated to their quality as a wife. In fact, I could argue that depending on the circumstances, a female that has lost her virginity could exhibit essential qualities for a good partner. For example, a female that has lost her virginity to someone she was in a serious relationship with could be considered a loyal and committed partner.
Secondly, it’s atrocious that such a double standard exists in a society such as our own. I agree that I do see this viewpoint far more in males of Eastern backgrounds, particularly from Muslim males. I’ve heard a lot of Muslim non-virgin males stating that they still expect a virgin wife. I find it slightly revolting that they will chase girls that they deem unfit for marrying because of their sexual appeal, and then have particular other girls set aside in their mind as their “wifey material.”
In my head all of this just does not make sense. I might be a little bias though. Perhaps as someone from a Muslim family I just feel frightened that a potential repercussion of losing my virginity (even if to someone I love) is being deemed as an unsuitable wife for someone else in the future.
Isn’t it frightening how something like your sexual past (even if limited) can dictate another person or society’s entire view of you?